Some times you just have to quit being the person you used to be and be the person you know you were really created to be. Look inside, we all have the ability to create, as were created by the most creative artist Himself.

I can close my eyes and go through out my life the many, and I mean many people that I have tried to convince myself as to who I was supposed to be. My earliest memory of trying to figure out who I was, was in 2nd or 3rd grade. I lived in Norwood. The majority of my friends were black. It didn't matter what color my friends were, it just mattered that they were my friends. I just wanted to hang out, play baseball, video games, and just run.

Then I moved to Arkansas and had no friends. I could be anyone I wanted to be. I met a kid there who's dad was in the Air Force and was an officer. This was the first time I could remember that I envied this kid and his dad. I wanted my dad to where medals and be important.

Then we moved back to Ohio, but to Cherry Grove. Again I didn't know anyone, I could start fresh again. Then again, we moved to New Richmond. The only person I knew was my cousin and we weren't even in the same school. Then jr. high came, and three schools combined into one. No one knew me.

Then high school. I remember being the dater, the wigger, the scrapper, the baller, the skater, the jock, the artist, the writer, and the Christian.

Yea, but that's not who I really was. More so, that's not who I was supposed to be. I remember wearing the different clothes. The basketball jersey from the Charlotte Hornets and the Fila's with straps. Shaving the sides of my hair and growing the top out long. Wearing the tie dyed shirts with the rastafarian fanny pac with my hacky sack inside.

Geesh, who the heck was I?!

But as of late, I feel like I have been kidding myself. Like I have been trying to fool myself into being close or acting like the person God wants me to be, but once walking in my house taking that mask off and going back to being the faker.

My clothes, my hair, my talents, my words, my actions, all tell you who I really am. Right now, it's off and on, hot and cold.

It's time for that to change. Now, my hair is not going to change, simply because I can't stand my hair long. my clothes, well maybe, depending on what I can afford. I can tell you I miss my cordoroys and big dress shirts as far as work is concerned. Shirts, jeans, and work boots at home. My words are going to be heartfelt. As someone said, I am only responsible what I say, not what you understand. If I feel God is pushing me to put you in your place, guess what's coming? My actions, I am a fat jovial guy. I like to have fun, and be funny. If you don't like that, don't be my friend. My talents, I love to draw and paint. I like to pull my trumpet out and make noise. I like to take beautiful pictures.

This is me people. I think that God is pushing me to use these talents, my actions and words to be proud of who I am and "whom" I stand for. If you are cool with that, awesome. If not peace out!

This is who I am everyone. Enjoy!

Today I heard a story about Paula Dean, you know the chef. The story was about the fact that she had her cooking show, teaching everyone in the world how to cook awesome comfort foods. However, apparently she was diagnosed was Type 2 Diabetes a few years ago. Since then she has been trying to teach everyone how to make low fat comfort foods.

I guess as of late, she has been a spoke person for a Diabetes drug company. So everyone is all in an uproar because she has been teaching everyone how to make fattening food and that this is hurting people...

Okay, seriously people!? Are you kidding me with this junk? Who doesn't know that if you eat crap food, high in fat, full of sodium, sugars, high carbs that you won't get fat and become overweight? Not to mention, the possibility of contracting heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and the list can go on and on...

I mean, let's take me for example. I know that if I eat a cheeseburger, it's more calories, than a properly portioned salad. I make the decision. To say it's McDonald's fault that we are fat, is ridiculous. No one is making anyone go through the drive-thru. You can get out of your car, walk your happy little butts into Subway and eat the right thing!

So, let's get real. Quit getting mad at the wrong person, and start looking at your self in the mirror! Make smart decisions, or what ever decision you want, but live with the choices that you and you alone make. Don't blame Paula Dean or anyone else but yourself.

Geesh...

It's a new year...so what to do? Lot's on my mind, having a heavy heart while missing my grandparents. I know there's not much to this post, but if I could say anything to anyone at the beginning of this new year, it would be this:

Those that we love are only around for a for a short time. Before we know it, they are gone. What's left behind is not only heartache, but stress and chaos. The stress to figure out how to remember them in your heart, and chaos when those memories are kept from you.

So, love hard, and when you think that's enough, love more! Make the most of every moment. Those moments are few and far between. And once those loved ones are gone, so are those opportunities to have those moments.