The Gorilla!
For those who don't know me that well, I am a bear on the outside and a softy on the inside. There are a lot of things on a daily basis that I overlook from people. From my customers, to my children, my wife, my boss, my friends and my family members. However, I will not tolerate bullying of any kind.
My daughter has had some issues growing up. She was born with a hearing loss. She was born with a metabolic disorder. She has had broken her arm. She has had habitual urinary tract infections since she was 6 months old. Now, she has problems controlling her bladder for one reason or another.
There have been children in her class and children on her bus that think it's okay to make fun of her because she has to rush to the bathroom, or because she has to wear pull ups. What kind of parents are we becoming that we have not taught our children better than this. I cried for my daughter today.
At bedtime the girls had me read them a story. We chose the book called Wannabe and the Quest for Forgiveness. And the end of book the character named Wannabe found forgiveness for all those who had done him wrong. So, I asked my daughter, what did we learn about forgiveness? She said to learn to forgive others. Even when they are mean to us. And she meant it too.
My little girl. She loves Jesus. Even though she doesn't want to be around the boys that make fun of her, she knows in her heart to forgive them. I so wish I could be like her. I so wish I could forgive some of the people that have wronged me so much. If only like a child. That huge gorilla that lies on my back. If only like a child.
01/6/13
So, today was a rough day. My family, because of my lack of leadership, has not gone to church on a consistent basis for quite some time. I could sit here and tell you all kinds of excuses, but ultimately, it was my responsibility and I have failed my family in that and have let my Jesus down...
However, as one of my goals for 2013 is to get myself and my family back to church. So today, is was to be the first day back. Unfortunately, last night my wife get's very ill. With out going into details, she was up pretty much all night in and out of the bathroom. Needless to say, she isn't able to go to church no way, no how. At 4:30 in the morning, my youngest comes and wakes me up to help take care of my wife. At this point I thought to myself, there's no way we are going to church.
I went back to bed. At 7:30AM, I am upstairs, Katie is downstairs, so I text her to see how she was doing. Of course, not good. So, I thought, I would take that opportunity to opt out of church. We devised a plan to text our neighbor to see if she would take them up to the local church. I tell my oldest daughter, that because mommy is sick, we couldn't go to church. You would have thought I took away all of her toys, her crayons, tv, any thing that she had ever loved dearly, she was upset!
What was I to do? God smacked me in the face with my daughter's want to go to church. Unfortunately, I decided to leave my son home, so that he could look after Katie, just in case she got worse or something. I put the girls in the bath tub, got ourselves dressed and we went to church. And I have to say, I am so glad we did. For a couple of reasons.
I enjoy going to Crossroads. It's a great church, and I have to admit, it does feed me spiritually when I go. Both girls, went into the classrooms with no problems. I actually got some coffee and went to the top balcony. I really wanted to be by myself and commune with God individually. So, I sat alone. As the service started, the music moved me, and my guilt of not talking to Jesus, not bringing Him into our family life got to me right away and I cried. I was upset because I knew I was letting people down. Not that they knew it or felt that way, but I knew it.
A guest speaker spoke today; Mike Breen. A great man from England, spoke about the reality of needing to revolutionize the American Christian Protestant church. Getting back to the basics of what "church" is supposed to be about. The "royal" family of God. It was awesome.
I didn't really realize as the service went on until the closing song, but there was a lot of people sitting around me now. Most of the time I would be cautious about my singing or praise, but for what ever reason, I didn't care. And, I cried again. I think this time, it was more about that God was working again in my heart. I know He never really left. I know that I closed my "spiritual ears" to what he was shouting out to me.
Okay, so this is where Jesus drove the point home today. This is the learning moment. I pick up the girls from their classrooms and we are in the car on the way home. Well, the song I Could Only Imagine by Mercy Me comes on. And this song usually always touches my heart and makes me cry. I know you are thinking what a sissy! Ha, you don't even know. It's not sissyness, it's passion! Okay, I digress. Anyway, the song comes on and the words are singing, "Will I dance for you Jesus..." my youngest shouts out from the back seat, "I danced for Jesus today!" And wouldn't you know it, I lost it. I was worried that I was failing my family by not including Jesus in their lives, but Jesus was working the entire time. Next, the words, "Will I sing hallelujah..." and she shouts again, "I sang to Jesus today." More tears. I said to her through my sappiness, "That's awesome baby!" And it is!
Like Saul becoming Paul, sometimes it's not about us specifically but it's about what's coming. It's about others that will be impacted by Christ's plan for me and what He, unbeknownst to me, is doing in my life.
So, what can I say, lesson learned! What has Jesus taught you today?
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