Who are you? Do you ever here that question and just want to scream? I am not talking about when people say, "Hey, so, where are you from?" No, I am talking about when someone confronts you and asks where did the person they know go. This question takes us back a bit. We have no idea what they are talking about. We haven't changed. Have we?
Growing up, I really never knew who I was or who I wanted to be. In college, I thought I knew. I wanted to be a youth minister. Or did I? I played one on T.V. Seriously, though, I spent ten years in the youth ministry, from an intern, to Part-time, to inner city, to Youth Director, to part time, to full time. But something was always missing.
I have been out of the ministry for over five years. I now own a photography business that does pretty well, and I work for a pretty predominant Art School. But something is still missing.
I know you are all waiting for me to get to the point and tell you what "it" is that I am missing. Well, your guess is as good as mine. I haven't a clue what "it" is that I am missing. I just know that "it" is not there.
I don't know how many of you are out there that is missing that something in there life that helps move them forward everyday, but you are not alone. Things for me have become increasingly difficult in my life. The majority of it is because of my own actions. Nothing crazy or hairy, just attitude, faith, patience, and something my grandma called gaschect! So no big deal right?!
Yeah, whatever! These are the things that make us get up everday and love life. When I look back on my life and ask my self what the hell happened? I close my eyes and can see exactly what happened and it scares me.
I gave up. I lost my "mojo". My self-discipline went out the window. I became a crotchity, grumpy old man. It's utterly ridiculous isn't it. It pisses me off quite frankly.
To know that I have an awesome wife and family that would support me no matter what if I just...finish the sentence. I need to communicate more. I need to be more patient. Kinder, more loving, gentle, caring, and most important; available. Not on a time basis, but on an emotional, spiritual basis.
I know you all thought I had it all together, well suprise right?!
When you wake up tomorrow, if you remember to do anything, remember to love. Just love!
1 comment:
I don't know who said it, but "Do what you love, and love what you do."
(Sorry, dorky music teacher chiming in here.)
When's the last time you picked up your horn? Cincinnati has a plethora of playing opportunities in the community realm. You don't have to be a pro, you can be someone returning after a huge absence.
You'd be AMAZED at how much of a release playing with a group, just for shi!ts and giggles can be.
It's an escape, and it's YOU time.
Just "Food for Thought," as my grandmother would say...
Post a Comment