Who is Moose De Bruce?

Many of you may be wondering who in the world is Moose De Bruce? That's a wonderful question, I am so glad you asked. You see, it has been a life long dream of mine to be a Children's Writer. My family on my mother's side has "supposedly" been linked back to Robert De Bruce, once the proclaimed leader of Scotland. Growing up, playing baseball, I wasn't the quickest guy on the field and apparently my coach thought I ran the bases like a moose; awkward yet with power and authority. And that nickname stuck through out highschool and beyond. So, I thought, I would put the two together and there you go.
So what does all of this have to do with the price of eggs in china? Another great question. In the near future I am going to introduce you to some of the characters that I have created. Moose De Bruce of course being one of them. Little Robbie, McKennasue, Sir Balboa of Nikon, Lord Sy of Las, and many more...
Soon you will meet them, some you will learn more about then others. So, if you are not a follower of the blog, by all means become one. Talk to you later...

Ode to politics...
I voted for President Obama. There are things that I see in him that I know could turn into greatness, and of course there are some things that I see that I don't like at all. I listened intently on everything that he had to said. I believe he has realized his mistakes and is going to try his hardest to make some changes. However will Congress follow suit with out whining and crying, ah, probably not. But that's really to be expected.
The way I see it, everyone who is skeptical needs to treat this like the a new head football coach. You can't expect miracles within the first year. Things are changing, adaptations have to be made, the staff and the players have to learn the plays and some people have to be let go. Are all the right calls going to be made, nope...but that just leaves room for adjustments and at the end of the season, they regroup and try to fix the issues from the previous season.
But in the end, the head coach has worked hard and earned his title. The players and the assistant coaches need to respect that title. They may not always like the plays called or how he may treat a particular situation, but he is still the head coach. This is one thing that really drives me insane. I understand that not everyone likes the president, or appreciates what he is doing, but dang on it, he is the President of the United States. It's like the Queen of England, she's not my queen, and I don't live in her country, but if she approached me, I would bow and show respect.
So, for Pete's sake America, he is our President, show some damn respect already!

A Struggle...

So, I graduated from college in 2003. It is now 2010, and I still have not completed my Master's Degree. Geesh, by now, I should have completed my PhD. So what the heck right?! I have made a few attempts to go back, but craziness always jumps in my way.
Well, now, one of my biggest struggles is figuring out what I want to do, what is it I want to study? I would love to get a degree in Photography or Art, but the only place that is offering anything "online" requires that you take the GRE... don't have the time or money for that. The schools that offer photography want like $500 up front as a deposit. I can barely come up with the fee to apply let alone a ridiculous deposit.
Then I thought, about History. Like studying the history of religion as a whole. I hate saying this, but all the schools out there are only offering Masters in Religion and then of course the religion is Christianity. Not that I am opposed to Christianity, it's just I want something more all encompassing.
Something about all religions...so, I thought philosophy, and I can't even find a school that fits my needs for that.
I don't feel supported at all. That's frustrating in itself. I want this for myself. Who am I kidding....

Today was a pretty rough day...if you don't know me, I am that guy that has the friendly, everyone's friend, the jokester exterior, yet is the guy who is falling apart on the inside. Yea, that's me to a "T".

...Anger:

• a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance
• make angry; "The news angered him"
• the state of being angry
• become angry; "He angers easily"
• wrath: belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong (personified as one of the deadly sins)

Anger is an emotion. The physical effects of anger include increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline.^[1] Some view anger as part of the fight or flight brain response to the perceived threat of harm.^[2] Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to take action to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force.

I am sure you are asking why I am bringing up this word, this emotion, this state of being. Anger has been my state of being for quite some time. At least on the inside. If you were to call me over the phone or see me out and about you would never know. What , you didn't know I am an awesome actor?!
The problem with this state of anger is that I cannot for the life of me tell you where this anger derives from. I don't know why I speak of it now, maybe to put it out there for therapeutic purposes. This brings me back to the emotional mess thing I was talking about earlier.
Today at church (Crossroads in Oakley, in case you were wondering) Brian spoke about emotions.He brought up some awesome points about educating yourself on your own emotions. Like keeping them in check, not being outrageous with them. In other words "Bi-Polar". You know going from one extreme feeling to the total polar opposite feeling.
Emotions are an awesome thing that God himself has blessed us with. They allow us to show, and feel, and be. Emotions show how awesome someone is, but can also show the villain.
What I have come to realize is that the root of the problem of having or showing emotions is not how we express them, it is indeed in fact as to whether or not we decide to express them at all. In our society, men specifically, are taught not to show emotions and very little if we do. Why is that? Why do we feel that it's not okay to show emotions, or to show how upset we truly are about a situation?
We have men and women that return from a active war zone, and don't know how to express themselves. Our children are showing an over-exaggeration of emotion and are not being taught how to properly express themselves in a healthy way.

So, with all of that being said, and after ranting long enough, I have come to the realization especially after today, that I have been and probably will continue to be over-sensitive about some situations and it's effecting me at my very core. I want to be the jovial, fun loving guy that I am known for. Instead, I am like the clown from the movie Spawn; mean and vile at times, and not funny nor cute at all.
Like I stated before I am a very emotional guy; and as the service went on today, the music that was playing, rocked my proverbial core and I wanted to cry out in such a manner that would allow all the angst that I have built inside me over time to be totally released. But I felt that would draw a huge amount of attention, and that in itself angered me, and so instead, I cried.
I cried out of anger, I cried out of desperation. I wanted so badly to cry out to my to God for Him to comfort me.
...and He did. As Brian spoke and the music played my heart was comforted. The knot started to unravel. Not completely by any means, but it was loosened.
I am sure there may be some of you out there that are skeptical of my behaviors and my thoughts on how God played into it. And that's okay.
But if you are to walk away from my thoughts today and retain anything, retain this:
"Open your heart, let yourself be open to have your knot loosened."

The coolest thing are the voices...the many voices that my wife uses when reading a book to my girls. It's hilarious...yet oh so adorable. The girls giggle, and squeal with laughter. As the next page is turn and the shark jumps out. Their eyes glisten with love towards their mother and when I see those looks my heart jumps with joy. When they stare endlessly at their mother's lips as she reads and makes silly noises their eyes smile and their souls are complete.

The love from a child runs deep. They love us, they trust us, they need us. It is crazy how much I need them too.

...the tree has to be at least 100 feet tall he thought to himself. It is huge. First five no problem. Wow, it's the top and the view was awesome. He had climbed the huge pine tree and felt so proud of himself. He looked down at all his friends just looking up at him. Then....there was a crackling sound...then another, and another, and another. There was a quick blur and then the ground. He had fell out of the tree and hit the ground with a thud. Landing on the hard ground didn't even phase him. He was just happy he made it to the top.

Why did he climb the tree? Why did he feel so compelled to get to the top? Was it for his friends, to show off? Was it that he had to accomplish something? Was the view that great?
The boy had no fear...all he wanted to do was get to the top and enjoy himself...no fear. He wanted to enjoy what was out there, what was given to him. There was no video games, no cell phones, no texting, just outside.

When's the last time you enjoyed what was out there, given to you without the "worldly" games distracting you? Just a thought...