Going On A Journey

Starting January 1st, I am going on a journey. Spiritually, mentally, physically, and who knows what else. I will be keeping this picture up as my Profile pic (Which is me when I graduated from boot camp in 1996) until I am at least half the man I am now. You may see photos through out the pages I am on of different aspects of my journey but no actual picture of my face or body in whole. So, if you are the praying type, I could use it, if you are the encouraging type, I could use it. Thanks in advance. See you on the skinny side!

 

I will posting more about my journey as we go along... be sure to visit me on facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/MooseDeBruce or twitter at: @MooseDeBruce 

 

Thanks!

The Season to Believe...

I have thought long and hard about the subject of Santa Claus vs Christianity over the last several weeks.  As a parent and former minister I have to be honest and say that I have never really struggled with the belief and differentiating between the two.  Growing up, with a set of the most stringent of grandparents when it came to their belief and faith in Christ one would have thought that Santa Claus would have been a big no-no.  But it was quite the contrary.  

When I was younger, my mother and I lived for bit with my grandparents and I remember one Christmas morning, very early sneaking down the stairs and taking a peak around the corner and seeing the leg of what looked like Santa Claus.  Now of course it could have been (and most likely was) my grandfather dressed as Santa Claus.  But that’s all it took for me.  I snuck back up to my room and got in bed.

Every Christmas Eve while they were alive was celebrated with my grandparents.  As I grew older it wasn’t so much about Santa Claus as it was spending time with family and giving gifts to one another, but more importantly it was the gift of time.  This was an evening of firsts.  The new babies from relatives would be shown off.  If one started dating a new person, they were introduced to the family on this night.  It was a huge to-do and everyone welcomed it.

Now that I have my own children, I have tried to instill to them that Santa Claus is not just some fictitious being.  I think that would be a poor choice on my part.  Otherwise how could I convince my children to belief in Christ.  Another being that one cannot see but is urged to believe in.  

You see, the decision that I have made is that Santa Claus is more about the spirit of giving.  He exists for children to understand that there is more to life than receiving the gift.  I have tried to teach them that he coincides with the Gift of Christ to man.  The ultimate gift if you will.

This year we have implemented two new traditions to our Christmas.  The first, the Elf on the Shelf and secondly Advent.  Elf on the Shelf is a fun way for parents to get involved and help children understand that you don’t just get gifts just because.  It helps them understand that being good year round is a good thing.  You can take the lesson and mold it any way you like.  But for Advent, I did a lot of research before deciding to implement this tradition.  I wanted to know what each part represented.  And if you know anything about it, it’s a great way to introduce your family to the true gift of Christmas, Christ. 

I guess what I am saying is why can’t there be both?  Why can’t we teach children who Santa is (his origins too, ie Saint Nicholas) and what Santa is about, and also teach our children about Christ and not only the gift that God gave the world, but the gift that Christ gave us in eternal life?   Both teach a giving heart.  I believe that this is what God wants.

At the end of the day, whether you are a believer in God, Santa Claus or whatever, Christmas IS about giving to one another. Giving freely with no regards.  Remember that as you go through your day and the hustle and bustle of Christmas.  It may just be your time that you give, but give it freely.

 

Just a thought….

 

At the age of 36 I am finally coming to the realization of something that my Grandfather was trying to instill in me from an early age: 

                                             Time is the only thing that truly matters in life.

He often would take the time to show me how to do simple little things, but those things weren't really the lesson.  It was the time that he was spending with me that held the lesson. Over the years attempting to learn mechanics from my dad and step-dad wasn't absolutely pointless.  Even though I didn't learn much, it was the time they were willing to spend.  The many camping trips with my grandparents and my mom was all about the time.

When my grandparents called me and asked if they could have my son come over each Sunday, it wasn't just to teach him how to turn a wood block into a linked chain, it was the time they were able to spend with him.  Having my brother come over to my house and just sitting on the porch drinking a beer is not about the beer, it's him being there.  It's him giving me the time.

Again, over my 36 years I can look back and see the time that people have given not just to me but my family as well as my friends.

In the end you can have all the money in the world but if you die tomorrow it's all gone.

So, I urge you today, take the time to:

Play with your children

Love loved ones

Be a friend

Read a book

Start a journal

Pray

Breathe

Garden

Be available

Just be you

At the end of the day, when your time is up, it's up....

You were made for more

When I was a young boy I remember playing with my friends pretending to be a superhero like Spider-Man.  The next day I would be a police officer.  The day after that I might be a jet pilot.  Every day we were someone different.  

As we grew older, we started focusing on that one thing, that one superhero, that jet pilot or firefighter.  As the years went by we started wondering what we would truly be when we grew up.  Then one one day we asked ourselves the question...what were we put on this earth for? 

 How did we come to the conclusion that we had a purpose?  Who said we had a purpose at all?Somewhere along the way figured out that we were put on this earth because we were made for something.  

Over my lifetime I have wanted to be so many different things.  The earliest career that I can remember becoming is a police officer.  After that, I wanted to be a baseball player.  Over the years it has changed a dozen or so times.  Then on May 3, 1993 everything changed.  I had two influential friends that helped open my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.  On May 3, 1993 I gave my life to Christ and was baptized.  Over the next year or so I met another guy who had one of the largest impacts on my life and that's when I knew what I wanted to be...or at least that's the direction I headed.  

I wanted to become a Youth Pastor.  I graduated high school and in the fall I started attending Cincinnati Bible College and Seminary, now Cincinnati Christian University.  After a semester of school, I realized how expensive this was going to be.  With no support, I decided to make a jump.  I joined the United States Marine Corps.  I became a Military Police Officer.  After being active for a year, I went back to school.  But I wasn't sure if I still wanted to be a youth pastor still.  I was still in the Marine Corps Reserve so one weekend a month and two weeks out of the year I was still a police officer.  

So, going back to school I stuck with becoming a youth pastor.  As time went by I became more and more intersted in Art and Photography.  I thought I should transfer.  But I didn't.  I thought I should go into communications.  But I didn't.  I thought about Psychology. 

While in school, I worked in sales, I worked in inner city ministries, I became a youth ministry intern, I became a part-time youth pastor.  I finally graduated with an Associates in Psychology and a Bachelor's in Youth Ministry.  I became a youth pastor.  

Guess what?  Life happened.  I went through a complete life change.  What do I mean you ask?  I went through a divorce.  I left the ministry.  I went back into sales.  Lot's of sales.  For five years, I did sales.

For five years I was out of the ministry.  For five years, I left my life for God behind.  You see, I forgot to mention that through all of this time, I thought I knew what my purpose was.  I jumped from this to that and not once asked what God's plan was for me.  I left the ministry without ever thinking about what God's purpose was for me.  I thought "I" had it figured out.

Well, after five years of being out of the ministry, I touched base with God every once in a while to see how He was doing.  To ask Him for help with this or that.  I started a new life and as my new life evolved God dissolved.  

Now, over eight years out of the brick and mortar ministry every day over the last year or so my heart and soul has yearned to be back in the ministry.  It's all I could think about. I have spent time working in sales, with the help of my awesome wife started a photography business, and dabled in the art world a little.  But this was not my purpose.  But my mind still always wondered about the ministry.  I truly believe this was God's way of saying, you have not fulfilled your purpose.  So, again for the last year and a half I have been trying to figure out my purpose.  A few days ago I turned 36.  And after 36 years of life, I have come to one thing I know for sure.  We cannot will our purpose for ourselves into fruition.  It's not our will that is to be done, it is His will.  

The sadness of this story is that it has taken me so long to figure this out.  But the awesome part to this story is that I can share it.  I have realized that the only way I am going to understand God's purpose for me is to ask Him and listen.  It's a two part process that we often leave the second part out of.  This has been my biggest fault in the past.  I ask, but don't wait for His response.

I was created by God for a specific purpose.  I was made for more!  And so were you.  I asked, now I am listening....are you?

Always Stumbling

So, I wake up and roll out of bed, I stumble.  I try to find my clothes that I've already laid out for the day, I stumble.  I take a shower, I stumble.  I turn on the television to check out what's going on in the world, I stumble.  I make my lunch, I stumble.  I drive to the bus stop, I stumble.  Sitting in my seat on the bus, trying to mind my own business, I stumble.  I walk into the building where I work, I stumble.  I start my day, I stumble.  I create an ad, I stumble.  I send an email or two, I stumble.  I file paperwork, I stumble.  I get back on the bus, I stumble.  I drive back home, I stumble.  I walk in the door, I stumble.  I eat dinner, I stumble.  I help with the kid's homework, I stumble. I write this blog, I stumble. 

My point is, I am constantly stumbling.  Not literally, but mentally and spiritually.   In everything I do, I mess up.  I don't mean to, but before I know it, boom I say the wrong thing, or I react the wrong way, or my thoughts aren't where they should be.

My poor oldest daughter has some issues and one thing we were told that we could do to help her is to have her take a deep breath when she feels anxious or starts to get upset.  That's honestly good advice.  I have put that into practice and have noticed it gives me the opportunity to regain myself and go back to "Daddy" instead of "The Father". Or it helps me refocus on where my thoughts should be, or what Christ would have me do.

You may not be a "believer" but either way this is good advice...
Jesus said to love the Lord God with all of our heart, mind and soul.  And then He said to love our neighbors as ourselves.  It's easy to say we love someone, but our actions are always louder than our words.  If we are commanded to love our neighbors as we do ourselves then the love that we show our true loved ones should be above and beyond. 

Yes, we do love our children, our spouses, our significant others, moms and dads, our relatives and of course our close friends. But love isn't just about feeling it or saying it.  We need to show the love.  I'm not saying we should buy each other expensive gifts, or chocolate.  What I am saying is show patience.  Go above and beyond to get coffee with them.  Go to their events.  Listen.  Give a hug.  These are simple things that show our love.  It's genuine. If it's an acquaintance, give them a moment of your time.  You never know what kind of change you may bring to that person's life, or what kind of change they could bring to yours.

In the end we are all going to stumble and if you are like me you are going to fall flat on your face more times than you care to.  But how you take your next step can make all the difference.  I am not advising to give the person next to you that you hardly know a hug because you thought something that you shouldn't have.  And I am not saying that you should reward yourself with a donut every time you react the wrong way in a situation to make yourself feel better.  What I am saying is take a moment, take a deep breathe and realize in that moment who you really are.  You are an awesome person. You are going to mess up, fall down, fall flat.  Refocus your thoughts and move forward.  Trust me, if I can do it, so can you.

Just a thought...

What type of follower are you?

I have come to the realization that there are four types of followers in almost every faith.

The peephole follower

The cracked door follower

The tea time follower

The open door follower

The peephole follower wants to see what everything is about before even unlocking the door. They like to have all the information first even if it means talking through the door. And most of the time they come to a conclusion on what their faith is but they are always comfortable behind the door.

The cracked door follower will open the door ever so slightly once they have some information and it feels safe. They may even venture out occasionally. Of course they keep a baseball bat behind the door in case you say something out of the ordinary or something that contradicts what they think so they can repel you back out to where you came from.

The tea time follower will tell you, "Not today but what about tomorrow? We can sit down over some tea."  But the truth is they won't be there or something will have come up that they can't make it. And after several attempts they will finally allow you in for enough time that it takes to drink your tea...they already know what they believe. But out of kindness they will listen but not hear a word of the conversation. And when they've had enough they will scurry you along so they can get to the next supposed appointment that they have. They will come to the worship center occasionally. But mostly to make an appearance. For show.

The open door follower will always let you in. They already know in their hearts what they believe. However, they will always listen and hear what is being said. They even may take your information and study on their own. They will come to the worship center and see what everything is about. They will always welcome you back. They will build a relationship with their God so that they may knock on the doors of others. They are open to talking about life and what their God is truly about and what their God wants from them.  They will discuss the intricacies of their faith, right or wrong. They are the ones that become members of the worship centers. 

Obviously the goal and hope is to find the open door followers. But whose to say the peephole follower over time cannot become the open door follower. 

The real question is which type of follower are you?  I have talked to many people who 100% believe in their God but are still peephole followers.  As a follower is that what you are called to be? Check yourself and see? What does you faith truly ask of you?  Are you to remain behind that door or yank it open and let your faith out?

Think about it!

Family Matters

This week I have had the opportunity to be home on vacation.  I spent a lot of time with my son and daughters.  We worked outside in the yard, had drawing contests, played the Wii and X Box.  There were moments of connection that was completely awesome that I will cherish for ever.

Unfortunately, towards the beginning of the week I received some very disturbing news that one of our very close friend's family had all been destroyed by what seemed to be infidelity at the time, but in the end may be a gigantic misunderstanding.  Things have been completely blown out of proportion and things are being said, the children are beside themselves.  Regardless, in the end, the relationship and the "family" is destroyed.

It broke my heart, and I was beside myself.  It made me realize that what I have I need to hold on to as close as I possibly can.  It can all be gone in an instant.  So much so that I was willing to watch the Katy Perry Documentary for my girls.  These are the moments as silly as they are, that I am going to remember.  Listening to them become giddy with each song that they have heard of hers and watching them attempt to sing and dance.  It's great and it makes me smile.  And of course watching One Direction...the screaming as if they are there in concert..geesh.

I was able to take my son and watch him get his Temporary Permit.  He drove for the first time today.  He became a man today, finally donning a wallet.  Very proud of the young man he is becoming each day.

I was able to fix our kitchen faucet today and the smile it put on my wife's face to was priceless.  These are all the things that makes my family matter!  Each day there is something new that makes me smile because I know itakes my family happy. Now we are not perfect by any means, but I know I will do what ever it takes to make my family stay a family.

At the end of the day, when you lay your head down on your pillow the only thing that matters is your family!

The Death of True Friendship

I remember growing up I spent some of my time in Colerain, some of my time in Norwood, and some of my time in New Richmond. I think I counted once, in the 35 years of my life, I have moved 34,35 times. Sometimes different states, sometimes across town. 

What's the point? 

The point is; growing up I had friends all over the place. Allison, Annie and Theresa. Robert and Willie. My cousins. Not until middle school did I find a permanent school system. Not until high school did I find a true friend. Someone that I knew I could call them anytime of day, 24/7.  

Why is it as humans we yearn for that friendship?  Is it that divine since that we need to be attached? I mean, from a Christian point of view shouldn't I seek out my true friendship with God? 

I had a problem, and maybe I still do. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be liked, to have friends. I pretended to be someone I wasn't. You don't believe me, you should have seen me my freshman year of high school.

I dated a lot. I wanted to feel liked and wanted. Dad issues? Maybe. I did have some significant relationships, at least they were to me. Today, those relationships are all but threads of the past. I can speculate as to what happen. I can make excuses as to why I allowed those friendships to fall apart. 

I'm married now. I always thought my wife would be the best friend. But she's obviously not a guy. We talk about everything, but I still need that guy interaction. 

Why is that? Monks can separate themselves and concentrate on non-relational things, why can't I?  Do I really need friendship? 

I know I do! I need some men in my corner that are going to laugh with me, cry with me, smack sense into me when needed.  I need men in my life to watch the game with. To scream at the bad plays with. To help fix cars, shoot the breeze with. 

I need friends who are going to be non-judge mental. Why, because I am going to screw up. Probably more than once. I'm going to need some forgiveness and love. I need true Christ-like friendship. 

At one point I thought I had friends like that. But when I screwed up, things changed. When we graduated the phone calls stopped. Married with kids, no time now... 

Guys, we need to make time for each other. If you're married you know you have to make time for your wife and your children. But what about you? I know from experience not taking time to spend with your friends can be disastrous. It can run you down spiritually and mentally. 

You think your okay with being friendless? You are a faker! 

I need my friends. Now more than ever. What about you? You may think I'm weak because I need relationships.  I'm here to tell you this will make you stronger.  It takes many soldiers to guard and secure the perimeter. Why shouldn't that be the same for us?

I've Had Enough

To say that I have had enough is an understatement.  Between last night and this morning I became completely aware that I have been a push over.  A people pleaser if you will.  Well, take this as a warning, you are all being put on notice.

I  bust my butt day in and day out.  I go to work everyday.  Now, it may not be back breaking, or hands on, but I utilize the talents that God has given me to the best of what I am able to do.  And that's Monday through Friday 8am-5pm.  Oh, not to mention that every day I wake up at 6am to make sure that my high school son wakes up in plenty of time to be up and get to the bus stop on time.  Oh, not to mention that I attempt to pick out my daughter's clothes so that my wife can get them down to the bus on time.  Oh, not to mention that it takes me 45 minutes to get to work, so I have to leave my house early, losing time to spend with my children before and after work.

Then after work, I volunteer, let me repeat that, I volunteer to coach my son's knothole team.  So, I spend time away from my family doing that.  He plays almost three times a week and let's not forget the occassional practice.  I work hard at making sure that all the kids play, that they play where their strengths best suit them.  Oh, and let me tell you, I hear the whispers behind me.  I hear the questioning, the doubts.  Let me just say, I didn't see you stepping up to volunteer to lead this team! Am I going to make the right decisions all the time, nope. But, I am doing the best that I can.  You have a problem, be an adult, bring it to my attention.

When I am not volunteering I am at home working in my yard.  Trying to make it perfect so that we can enjoy our little piece of paradise.  So what? Right?  Well, let's see, over the last two years, I have moved over six tons of rock.  Created retaining walls.  Created flower beds, which means I have dug countless holes for all the flowers.  I have created a raised box garden so we can save money and live off of what we grow.  I have built a chicken coop and run. Oh, and it's no where near complete yet.  So, I will put more time into that.

When I am not working in the yard, I am trying to spend time with my immediate family.

So, that's some of my time spent in case you were wondering.  I try to fit my family and friends in there when I can.  Relaxation comes in moments, when we are trying to get the girls to settle and fall asleep.

All I can say at this point is I am doing the best that I can.  And like I said earlier, don't expect the push over guy anymore.  I served my country, I've broke my back for my community and my family.  I will not be taken advantage of anymore.

That is all.

Next Goal...

A week ago, I told you that one of my biggest goals was to  rebuild my relationship with God.  If you have been following my blogs, I have been posting some of the many things that God has been teaching me each day.  I have decided to make this a permanent fixture on my blog site and is now entitled, "Things Jesus Taught Me Today."

So, moving on to my next big goal; lose 50 pounds or more.  This is going to get rough.  WARNING!  I am going to get cranky.  For about two months I was doing great.  Watching what I was eating.  Counting my calories and tracking everything.  And then, I just stopped caring.  I want to say that I am sorry.  I'm sorry to my friends and family.  I'm sorry to my children and my wife.  You need me to be healthy and fit.  You need me to lose the weight so we can play more together, walk more together, live longer together.

Well, I am putting it out there, it's going to happen.  I am going to lose weight.  I weighed myself this morning; 297 pounds.  I could say that's great given 4 months ago, I weighted over 320 pounds.  But, it's not okay because I was down to around 275 and 280 pounds.  

Today, was the jump back on the wagon day.  My calorie goal for each day at this point is 1,840 calories per day.  Today, I went over by 2 calories.  Shouldn't have had that extra piece of chocolate cake.  But no one can resist this cake.  

Moving forward, the goal this year is 50 pounds.  When you have a moment, please say a little prayer for me as I try once again to conquer this issue.

And if you want, follow my success at: Robb TV

What I've learned today...

I've learned today that my life hangs in the balance. What I mean by that is I have no idea why I am here on earth. I thought I knew but am apparently wrong.
My life does not belong to me. My life belongs to you. To my wife and children. My country and my parents. My life belongs to my brothers and sisters. My life belongs to God.
For far to long I thought I was in control of my life and who I was to be. All the people in my life mold me into who I am. What I choose is who I want around to help mold me.
We all have this choice, this decision to make. We decide who surrounds us, who we invite into our lives. Sometimes it takes us longer to figure out who those people should be but we make that decision in the end. So this year I am going to work on allowing the right people into my life. I am going to choose who shapes me, who molds me, and who influences me.
So if you are reading this consider yourself lucky to be one of those people.
Who molds you?

It's A New what?

So, it's 2013.  Where did 2012 go?  I blinked and boom!  There was a lot of things I wanted to accomplish last year, and either due to procrastination, lack of motivation, or forgetfulness they didn't.  The Mayans supposedly said that this was to be the beginning of a new era, a Golden Era.  Well, we shall see about that.

Regardless, it's time for a change for me. I'm not just talking about New Year's resolutions.  I'm talking about  real life changes!  Fixed goals that need to be achieved, now.  For far too long I have been lukewarm about correcting things in my life. For far too long I have been wishy-washy about what I believe in from a faith perspective, a political perspective, a personal perspective.  I have been quiet when I believe I should have voiced my thoughts and beliefs, regardless of the outcome.  I have been quick to make decisions when I should have prayed and really taken the time to think and research my stance.

It's time for me to be a better man.  A better father, Husband, brother, son.  There are days I look back on and wondered what in the world was I thinking...why did I react that way?  Why didn't I return that phone call?  Why didn't I make time to play, or hang out?  Why did I blow a gasket when I just needed to listen?
God knows that I have fallen short as a man...

The Remedy:
    So, what I have done is come up with 40 goals that I have for 2013.  That's right 40.  I know that's a lot right?!  Well, after going through those 40, I realistically narrowed those 40 goals down to 10.  That's right just 10.  Don't get me wrong this is not a "To Do List".  But obtainable goals...You want to hear them? I think what I will do is share one goal each week for the next 10 weeks.  That sounds good.

Goal 1: Rebuild my relationship with God.
     As some of you may or may not know, I have spent over 15 years in ministry in one capacity or another. I went to college for ministry.  But over the last few years, I have slowly let myself move away from the comfort and grace of God that I used to embrace on a regular basis.  Was I perfect, never.  But I went to church, I spoke with God often, I always felt like I knew what God wanted for me, and I lived more for Him than myself.
   This goal consists of many things.  Prayer, reading my Bible, going to church with my family, finding a church home that works for our family.  It consists of reading Bible stories to my children, praying with my kids.  Praying over my family.  I want to revitalize my facebook pages; Higher Ground Community Church and The Order of the Sword.   I want to ground myself in the Lord again.  Does this mean I will be some crazy psycho I love Jesus fanatic?  Naaa...never was, never will be.  I do believe that as a Christian I am called to follow the Great Commission, found in the Book of Matthew, to go out and tell the world about Jesus and who He is, and what He did for us.  Am I going to tell you that you are going to Hell if you don't follow Christ, nope, not my job, not my judgement.  I can tell you what the Bible says, but again, in the end, not my call.

Moving forward; I know what I need to do, if you follow me and don't mind, say a little prayer for me.  I'd appreciate that.

So, stay tuned, and make sure to take a look at the other pages on the Blog.

May 2013 bring you joy, peace and happiness.  Happy New Year!